Celebrating small wins
I have a tendency to look at the glass half empty. Oftentimes, when I look back on my time spent here, I think of all the things I had in mind to do but did not accomplish. Someone else in my position would probably have been able to do far more with the same amount of spare time that I had and return home with a longer list of achievements.
Today, I want to take a moment to celebrate my small wins. I want to acknowledge all that I have done, despite them paling in comparison to all that I had set out to do. After all, if I were to be perfectly honest, 최선을 다했다. I have done the best that I can, given my limitations and challenges, and I should learn to give myself some grace and understanding.
Learning Japanese
I started self-learning on a whim in June and have managed to keep the momentum going. I have learnt hiragana and katakana and, to date, studied 1,300 kanji words/phrases. Of these kanji, Anki has categorised 824 of them as mature and 476 as young. I haven't been keeping up with language immersion, grammar lessons or reading practice, unfortunately, and speaking and writing have been on the back burner. Nevertheless, I am proud that I have kept up learning Japanese on my own for four months now. I also feel like I have kept some brain cells alive as a result of this endeavour because I am now able to memorise kanji faster than I did at the start.
Writing and Documenting
Since starting this blog, I have posted a grand total of nine entries (not counting this one) in a total of six months. Completely unremarkable, yet nonetheless significant for me. I have also posted 32 photographs with accompanying notes on my day in A Book of Days. Yay!
Teaching Chinese
Yesterday, when I thought aloud to myself in English, my four-year-old told me, "你需要讲华语。" "You need to speak Mandarin." I speak to him in Mandarin almost all the time, and in the few moments when I inadvertently speak in English, he sends me these mature and adult-like reminders. He even encouraged my husband to speak in Mandarin, reminding him that he should do so since he is Chinese. I had a good laugh when I heard that one. I was equal parts amused, proud and sheepish—I had successfully brainwashed my son.
My boy has come a long way. He used to speak only in English before we moved here, and soon after the move, he spoke only in Mandarin. He spoke a mix of languages after starting at an English-speaking kindergarten, then had a phase where he refused to speak Mandarin at all. Now, he's back to speaking only in Mandarin with me and is even an advocate! I have been teaching him to recognise and name Chinese characters, and the last time I taught him, he was able to name 43 of them independently. The accomplishment is mainly his, though, because his sight memory is good, so he picks up new characters easily. We've also been working on writing, and he even requests to do more than I ask of him.
All this while, I have been deliberate in my efforts to teach my child his mother tongue. I really hope that his interest in and appreciation for the language will last into adulthood. I secretly hope that one day he will be able to study the language at a higher level at school so that he can reach a greater proficiency beyond what I can provide for him at home. It's funny that I should have such hopes for him when Chinese was not something that I embraced for most of my life. Maybe it's part of growing up, but now that I'm older, I value the significance that my language and culture play in shaping my identity.
Cooking
Yesterday, I cooked yī miàn for the first time, and it turned out to be a rather delicious meal. I was just trying to make something out of my leftover ingredients, and it turns out that a tomato, some carrots, frozen spinach and noodles in an ikan bilis egg drop soup make for a tasty dish. Cooking really doesn't come easy for me, despite my almost daily practice, so yesterday was a nice surprise because I often don't know what I'm doing in the kitchen or how my food will turn out.
And now, for the abrupt conclusion, because endings are difficult. Here's to the small wins and to another post written! :)